Resources & Inspiration for Life with Brain Injury

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Survival Tips for the Holidays with a Brain Injury

by Linda W. Arms

With an injured brain, the holiday season can burden us with more fatigue, more stress and perhaps some sad emotions.  We may remember how our lives used to be before our brain injuries, but we have to move on and appreciate our lives today.   We can look back with fond memories, but we can also build new ones that don’t require us to overdo during the holidays.

We will be able to enjoy ourselves much more if we prepare ourselves for the holiday season.   Here are some tips that work for me since my brain injury:

  1. Pace yourself – don’t commit to more than you can successfully handle.  Don’t overdo the shopping, the cleaning, the cooking or other activities.   Give yourself a quiet day before going to that party or dinner.  Take a nap, or just lay down and rest.   Do everything in moderation.
  2. Say “No” – sometimes it’s better to turn down large family get-togethers because of all the challenges of interacting with people, the noise, and making your way around all the people.   And then, of course, we have to remember that when we overdo it one day we have to pay for it the next.
  3. Get organized in advance – Write things down to help you remember what you need to do.    Maybe add when you need to do them by.    Why burden your brain by trying to keep it all in your head?
  4. Prioritize – only do what is important.   There are probably things to do that you can put aside until after the holidays.
  5. Ask for help – with the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, or whatever else it is.
  6. Keep things simple – simplify the decorations, the gift giving, the meals and everything else that is part of the holiday season.   Find ways to enjoy the holidays with quieter moments.   The added decorations and lights can add to our fatigue because they are visually stimulating which the brain has to process and sometimes not very well.    Many of us have visual processing problems so all this added visual stimulation wears on us.
  7. Eat properly throughout the day to nourish your brain so it can do a better job for you. Drink recommended amounts of water, our brains need it.
  8. Determine how to get where you have to go before you leave – I like doing this the day before so I can study the Google map and try to think about it for a while before I go out on the road.  I even do a “street view” in Google Maps so I can be familiar with the area I’m travelling to.  Better yet, have someone else drive.
  9. Determine how much time you need to get there – Give yourself some extra time since stressing causes an additional load on our brain which we want to avoid.  Write down what time you have to leave, what time you need to start getting ready.   I have trouble with time and remembering the numbers.   I write it down so I don’t have to re-think this 10 times before I go.
  10. Determine what you need to take with you and what you are going to wear – Doing this well ahead of time saves that last-minute pressure that makes it difficult to function if you have a brain injury.
  11. Determine, in advance, your way out of the social situation or other activity if things are not going well for you.   You may need to find a ride home.   You may need to leave early before the dinner is over.   You may need to cancel before you even leave the house.   It’s good to let others know that you may have a problem and that you just have to escape before you can’t function well enough to get yourself back home safely.
  12. If you’re going to a new place for dinner, study the menu on the Internet before you go.   I found it very hard to focus on a new menu and figure out what to eat when I just couldn’t keep up with the busy restaurant environment and people at the table talking to me.   It’s easier to decide in advance if possible.
  13. Try to get a table in a quiet, less busy part of the restaurant.   I often get a table away from the hub-bub and I sit facing the wall so I don’t have to see the movement in the restaurant.   I sometimes asked the waiter to turn down the music.

The idea is to save brain energy so you can have a good time.    Enjoy!

Thanksgiving_dinner

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Holiday Challenges With a Brain Injury

by Linda W. Arms, November 5, 2013

We are now in the middle of the holiday season which can challenge those of us with an injured brain.    It is a time when so much more is expected of us than most other times of the year.    We along with our loved ones, friends and caregivers should all remember that it’s best to simplify so we can enjoy things more.     It’s been nearly 9 years since my brain injury and I’m doing much better but I have to remind myself to keep things simple instead of doing  all the things I “should” do, or the things I did before my injury.

This season brings so many more demands on our brain.   We have to do a lot of extra things such as buying gifts, putting up decorations, doing more cooking and interacting with more people at social events.   We have to maneuver around very busy stores, and the entire holiday hubbub on the roads and parking lots.   The holidays can also be an emotional time because we might think back to our past selves when we could do so much more.   We might feel our loss even more and feel that familiar grief.

Brain injury survivors and caregivers should take extra care during this time for rest, finding quiet spaces and doing less of what is expected during the holidays.   Those of us with a brain injury probably are much more settled and can enjoy this time better if we don’t have ALL those decorations, especially flashing or moving lights all around us.   They are overwhelming for our poor brains to process and contribute to sensory overload.   Plus its a lot of work to put up so many decorations and take them back down.  I put up just a few decorations and I can feel a strange anxiety of having those extra things to look at as I process my surroundings.

You also need to learn to say no to some things.   I’ve turned down large family get-togethers in these past years because of all the challenges of interacting, a lot of noise and making your way through the groups of people.   And then, of course, we have to remember that when we over-do-it one day we have to pay for it the next.

Ask for help.   Instead of doing most of the cooking for a special meal, make it pot luck.   Everyone contributes a dish or two.   Instead of running to a lot of stores for gifts, buy online.   Reduce the amount of gift giving.   Many people are happy to opt out of gift exchanges or to cut back from earlier years.

Simplify the decorations, the gift giving, the meals and everything else that is part of the holiday season.   Find ways to enjoy the holidays with quieter moments.   Keep it simple and you’ll enjoy it more.     And remember More is Not Better

Glowing Christmas Tree in Snow

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12 Tips for Getting through the Holidays with an Injured Brain

by Linda W. Arms

As the holiday season gears up, we need to remember to take care of our injured brains so we can enjoy the season more.   We need to prepare ourselves to make it through the holidays without too much more fatigue or stress. We need to be ready for that party, dinner, driving to an unfamiliar place, or something else we may not often do.   Here are some tips that work for me since my brain injury:

  1. Pace yourself – don’t commit to more than you can successfully handle.  Don’t overdo the shopping, the cleaning, and the cooking or other activities.   Give yourself a quiet day before going to that party or dinner.  Take a nap or just lay down and rest.   Do everything in moderation.
  2. Get organized in advance.    Write things down to help you remember what you need to do.    Why burden your brain by trying to keep it all in your head?
  3. Prioritize – only do what is important.   There are probably things to do that you can put aside until after the holidays.
  4. Ask for help – with the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning or whatever else it is.
  5. Keep things simple – simplify the decorations, the gift giving, the meals and everything else that is part of the holiday season.   Find ways to enjoy the holidays with quieter moments.
  6. Eat properly throughout the day to nourish your brain so it can do a better job for you. Drink recommended amounts of water.
  7. Determine how to get where you have to go before you leave.   I like doing this the day before so I can study the Google map and try to think about it for a while before I get on the street.  I even do a “street view” in Google Maps so I can be familiar with the area I’m travelling to.   My TBI resulted in me losing the map of where I’ve lived for the last 30 years and not having a good sense of direction anymore.
  8. Determine how much time you need to get there.   Give yourself some extra time since stressing causes an additional load on our brain which we want to avoid.   Write down what time you have to leave, what time you need to start getting ready.   I have trouble with time and remembering the numbers.   I write it down so I don’t have to re-think this 10 times before I go.
  9. Determine what you need to take with you and what you are going to wear.   Doing this well ahead of time saves that last-minute pressure that makes it difficult to function if you have a brain injury.
  10. Determine, in advance, your way out of the social situation or other activity if things are not going well for you.   You may need to find a ride home.   You may need to leave early before the dinner is over.   You may need to cancel before you even leave the house.   It’s good to let others know that you may have a problem and that you just have to escape before you can’t function well enough to get yourself back home safely.
  11. If you’re going to a new place for dinner, study the menu on the Internet before you go.   I found it very hard to focus on a new menu and figure out what to eat when I just couldn’t keep up with the busy restaurant environment and people at the table talking to me.   It’s easier to decide in advance if possible.
  12. Try to get a table in a quiet, less busy part of the restaurant.   I often get a table away from the hub-bub and I sit facing the wall so I don’t have to see the movement in the restaurant.   I sometimes asked the waiter to turn down the music.

The idea is to save brain energy so you can have a good time.    Enjoy!

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Cooking is a Cognitive Challenge

by Linda W. Arms

Many of us used to think that cooking was a fairly simple task.   I thought so before my brain injury.   Even though I was very busy with a demanding job and other things in my life, I enjoyed cooking.   I was never one to follow recipes.   I preferred getting ideas from meals I ate in restaurants and looking in food magazines.   I liked to create my own things and made many complex dishes for my family and guests.

I don’t really care to cook that much anymore.    It was one the things I immediately stopped doing after my brain injury because I didn’t have the physical or cognitive energy.    My family took care of cooking for me, including the shopping and the cleaning up.   I just couldn’t do it.    I was very weak at the beginning.    My motor skills were off.    Stirring and other rotating hand motions made me nauseous and dizzy.    My vision had a number of problems that weren’t yet fully diagnosed.   The tasks involved in trying to cook a small meal were too overwhelming for my brain to process easily.

I just didn’t cook.   It was just too hard and it made me feel worse.   I tried many times to at least help by doing a few tasks but often that was too much for me.   We just don’t realize how much is happening when we cook something.    You have to decide what ingredients and dishes you need.   You need to wash and cut things up.   You need to figure out the order and timing of things.  You need to use motor and visual skills as you use utensils and do other cooking tasks.  You need to use memory.    You need to process things and sounds that are around you in the kitchen; you need to tune those things out and focus on what you’re doing.   I’m sure that’s just a small part of it.   But you get the idea.   Lots of stuff happening for our injured brain to process.

Over the last years I slowly expanded my cooking activities.   I would do easy things at first.   Someone in my family would help by cutting things up for me.   Someone was also always standing by to save me.   They also were quiet while I cooked.   They knew that any talking; or having the TV or radio on would cause too many problems for me.   I had to have silence and no distractions while I cooked.   S..l..o..w..l..y  over the last seven years, I am doing more cooking and even talk at the same time!   It sounds silly but that’s how it is.   I expect some of you can relate.

I don’t really enjoy cooking that much anymore.   I still have to approach it differently than I did before.   It’s a lot more work.   I usually always burn one part of the meal.   It’s kind of a joke these days.    I’d like to also thank my husband for stepping in and cooking many of our dinners these days.   He’s become a wonderful cook!

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mid section view of a woman cutting vegetables

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