by Linda W. Arms
Many of us used to think that cooking was a fairly simple task. I thought so before my brain injury. Even though I was very busy with a demanding job and other things in my life, I enjoyed cooking. I was never one to follow recipes. I preferred getting ideas from meals I ate in restaurants and looking in food magazines. I liked to create my own things and made many complex dishes for my family and guests.
I don’t really care to cook that much anymore. It was one the things I immediately stopped doing after my brain injury because I didn’t have the physical or cognitive energy. My family took care of cooking for me, including the shopping and the cleaning up. I just couldn’t do it. I was very weak at the beginning. My motor skills were off. Stirring and other rotating hand motions made me nauseous and dizzy. My vision had a number of problems that weren’t yet fully diagnosed. The tasks involved in trying to cook a small meal were too overwhelming for my brain to process easily.
I just didn’t cook. It was just too hard and it made me feel worse. I tried many times to at least help by doing a few tasks but often that was too much for me. We just don’t realize how much is happening when we cook something. You have to decide what ingredients and dishes you need. You need to wash and cut things up. You need to figure out the order and timing of things. You need to use motor and visual skills as you use utensils and do other cooking tasks. You need to use memory. You need to process things and sounds that are around you in the kitchen; you need to tune those things out and focus on what you’re doing. I’m sure that’s just a small part of it. But you get the idea. Lots of stuff happening for our injured brain to process.
Over the last years I slowly expanded my cooking activities. I would do easy things at first. Someone in my family would help by cutting things up for me. Someone was also always standing by to save me. They also were quiet while I cooked. They knew that any talking; or having the TV or radio on would cause too many problems for me. I had to have silence and no distractions while I cooked. S..l..o..w..l..y over the last seven years, I am doing more cooking and even talk at the same time! It sounds silly but that’s how it is. I expect some of you can relate.
I don’t really enjoy cooking that much anymore. I still have to approach it differently than I did before. It’s a lot more work. I usually always burn one part of the meal. It’s kind of a joke these days. I’d like to also thank my husband for stepping in and cooking many of our dinners these days. He’s become a wonderful cook!
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I am trying to help my friend who had a stroke just over half a year ago regain some of her skills in the kitchen. Do you know of any cookbooks that are directed at brain impaired people? If there was a book that gives simple but clear step by step instructions, with time management guidelines, a grocery list, photos and diagrams, I would love to get her one. I did find one through Amazon that I am going to order (Short takes: making cooking simple) but I would like to investigate others.
I don’t know of such a book but I’d say having to deal with the book itself might be a problem if she is having problems with cooking. You might help her with things such as:
-making a plan for meals that are simple to make (few ingredients and easy cooking process) and putting the grocery list together
-the grocery list should be in the order that she would go through the store
-prepare meals that include enough for leftovers to avoid another meal preparation
-if cooking is a big challenge, try coming up with a short list of simple recipes that can be made frequently. This avoids having to deal with a new recipe often. I would make tacos once a week and I got the process down after many repetitions but it took a lot of stress off me. I’d make enough to last about 3 days.
– when preparing meals, I had more success by getting things going a few hours before so I could have rest breaks between each challenge. I’d get my recipe out and think about what I needed to do and how much time each part would take. I put a little written schedule together such as have all ingredients chopped by 2pm, get all my non-refrigerated ingredients on the counter by 4pm, make the rice starting at 5pm (it can sit for a bit before a meal), cook the meat at 6:30pm.
The reason I did this was that each of these steps was overwhelming and I need to take a mental and physical break in between each of these things. If I waited until 5pm to do all of this, I wouldn’t make it through the meal prep. I’d write my schedule down because it was too hard to rethink the process and the timing. If I didn’t write it down I would usually make big mistakes or get to overwhelmed with preparing the meal.
-A biggie for all these things, is to avoid distractions – no TV, no radio, and maybe nobody speaking to you. I needed completed silence to be able to focus on the tasks. Please let me know if you have some specific questions, maybe I could offer something.
I was/ am the same! I love reading your stories…as i feel I could have written them myself!
8 years into my tbi and I’ve discovered the prepackaged meals that come with pics and step by step directions. They all don’t turn out like the pics, but they are all edible, plus I feel good about producing a good meal.
I’v always cooked and loved to shop for groceries and cook. Since my two strokes it has been so difficult to do what I always enjoyed doing. First my vision is nearly gone and my train of thought can easily be distracted. I still do cook , but now I have to have a recipe to follow , where I never did before. I have to be alone with no distractions and write it in an order that I can follow and understand. I need to get all ingredients measured and set aside in order. My biggest challenge is making sure I read the correct measures. It is a challenge, but I like challenges and try to learn from my mistakes. My biggest fear is that I leave the gas burner on and burn the house down. We also have an old fashion wood cook stove that I’m getting pretty good at cooking on.
I to can relate very much to your story about cooking but I find it sad that my family or friends just don’t understand I had a stroke and I am now paralized on left side and have aabi injury now I’m now still learning to be a netterother toy 14year old twins
I can relate completely on the needing silence… needing to focus.. I lost my left cerebellum almost 2 years ago to a stroke. I am still learning every day. xoxo
For me, pre-TBI, I used to *love* to bake, I found it relaxing as it was something I’d done growing up.
Post-injuries, it’s something I do rarely, but no longer find enjoyable or relaxing.
I was never a very good cook…Now, Post TBI…I’m hopeless in the kitchen! But my husband is tired of cooking…so I try…I really try hard…never mind that He is a fairly good cook, and I can’t do anything right! Oh well…what can I do? I just keep trying…
Ironically, I used to be a home economics teacher and a project/time management instructor! The timing issue is one that still presents me with many problems. Last evening I was cooking a special meal for a friend and she called to tell me she was running early. Well, that sent me into a bit of a tizzy and it took awhile for me to recover because I had planned exactly when I needed to start cooking many of the foods I was planning to serve.
For holiday gatherings with many family members, I try to plan meals that include side dishes that can be prepared a day or so in advance.