By Linda W. Arms
Each new year brings new beginnings, prompting us to reflect on the past and plan for the future. For those of us with a brain injury, another significant “new beginning” marks the anniversary of our injury—a time of contemplation, grief, and gratitude. It is a day that reminds us of what we have lost but also of how far we have come.
In recent years, the feelings of loss have faded, likely because I have improved so much. Now, my brain injury anniversary is a time of gratitude and pride as I look back on my recovery journey. I see the progress I have made and the hard work it took to get here. I celebrate the things I never thought I would do again. I still wonder what my life might have been like without the accident, but I also believe I wouldn’t be as content as I am today.
Last month marked the 19th anniversary of my brain injury. In the early years after “The Accident,” January 15 was filled with sadness and despair as I mourned the life and abilities I had lost. That day closed the door on who I once was. While much of me returned, I am also different in ways that have brought unexpected gifts. I am more patient, less driven by perfection, and deeply appreciative of my family and friends who stood by me. I am more forgiving, compassionate, and attuned to life’s simple joys. My brain no longer processes as it once did, but in return, I have learned to slow down and savor the moment.
Many of us recognize our injury anniversary in different ways. Military veterans with brain injuries sometimes call it “Alive Day.” Others see it as a re-birthday, a day of mourning, or a celebration of survival and progress. Gabrielle Giffords, who survived a gunshot wound to the head, once marked her injury anniversary by skydiving. She summed up the experience in words that resonate with so many of us: “I’ve overcome a lot. Progress has come from working hard. Today, I grieve, I remember, and I take another step.”
I also take inspiration from Lt. Brad Snyder, who said, “Choice— that word means a lot. Each of us faces a plethora of daily choices. You can choose to be positive, or you can choose to be a victim. You can choose to move forward with grace, or you can choose to succumb to negativity.” Finding positivity after a brain injury is challenging, but it is possible. As C.S. Lewis wrote, “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing the monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”
Through my 19-year journey, I have chosen to move forward. Early on, my neuropsychologist helped me accept that my situation could not be undone. I had to make the best of it and take small steps forward. There were setbacks—sometimes big ones—but today, I can say that I am thriving. I still face challenges from my brain injury, but I have learned how to accommodate them, set boundaries, and respect them with self-care, self-compassion, and self-love. Now, instead of merely surviving, I am truly living.
In recent years, I have overcome obstacles I never thought possible with a brain injury. I went through a divorce, sold my home, moved to a new place, and dealt with significant family losses. It was not easy, but I am amazed at my ability to persevere. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “We acquire the strengths of that which we have overcome,” and I have come to appreciate the truth in those words.
As we approach our injury anniversaries, let’s remember to move forward with self-care and resilience. The journey is often difficult, but when we look back, most of us can see how much we have grown. Recognizing our strength helps us face new challenges. Aberjhani captured this beautifully: “A bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare to the jeweled vision of a life started anew.”
As my life has settled from the changes I chose to make, I have expanded my world with new people and activities. Years ago, I withdrew into solitude, avoiding social interactions to cope with my injury. Now, I have rekindled old friendships, made new ones, and embraced activities like traveling. I look forward to new experiences in the future.
No matter where you are in your journey, keep going. Live fully, seek joy, and challenge yourself. Every step forward—no matter how small—helps your brain heal. Each January 15, I will celebrate life, grateful for how far I have come. I hope that when your anniversary arrives, you find reasons to celebrate and be grateful. Even the smallest victories add up over time, making a profound difference. Life does get better.
