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Holiday Survival Tips for People Living with Brain Injury

by Linda W. Arms

With an injured brain, the holiday season can burden us with more fatigue, more stress and perhaps some sad emotions. We may remember how our lives used to be before our brain injuries, but we have to move on and appreciate our lives today. We can look back with fond memories, but we can also build new ones that don’t require us to overdo during the holidays.

We will be able to enjoy ourselves much more if we prepare ourselves for the holiday season. Here are some tips that work for me since my brain injury:

Pace yourself – don’t commit to more than you can successfully handle. Don’t overdo the shopping, the cleaning, the cooking or other activities. Give yourself a quiet day before going to that party or dinner. Take a nap, or just lay down and rest. Do everything in moderation.
Say “No” – sometimes it’s better to turn down large family get-togethers because of all the challenges of interacting with people, the noise, and making your way around all the people. And then, of course, we have to remember that when we overdo it one day we have to pay for it the next.
Get organized in advance – Write things down to help you remember what you need to do. Maybe add when you need to do them by. Why burden your brain by trying to keep it all in your head?
Prioritize – only do what is important. There are probably things to do that you can put aside until after the holidays.
Ask for help – with the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, or whatever else it is.
Keep things simple – simplify the decorations, the gift giving, the meals and everything else that is part of the holiday season. Find ways to enjoy the holidays with quieter moments. The added decorations and lights can add to our fatigue because they are visually stimulating which the brain has to process and sometimes not very well. Many of us have visual processing problems so all this added visual stimulation wears on us.
Eat properly throughout the day to nourish your brain so it can do a better job for you. Drink recommended amounts of water, our brains need it.
Determine how to get where you have to go before you leave – I like doing this the day before so I can study the Google map and try to think about it for a while before I go out on the road. I even do a “street view” in Google Maps so I can be familiar with the area I’m travelling to. Better yet, have someone else drive.
Determine how much time you need to get there – Give yourself some extra time since stressing causes an additional load on our brain which we want to avoid. Write down what time you have to leave, what time you need to start getting ready. I have trouble with time and remembering the numbers. I write it down so I don’t have to re-think this 10 times before I go.
Determine what you need to take with you and what you are going to wear – Doing this well ahead of time saves that last-minute pressure that makes it difficult to function if you have a brain injury.
Determine, in advance, your way out of the social situation or other activity if things are not going well for you. You may need to find a ride home. You may need to leave early before the dinner is over. You may need to cancel before you even leave the house. It’s good to let others know that you may have a problem and that you just have to escape before you can’t function well enough to get yourself back home safely.
If you’re going to a new place for dinner, study the menu on the Internet before you go. I found it very hard to focus on a new menu and figure out what to eat when I just couldn’t keep up with the busy restaurant environment and people at the table talking to me. It’s easier to decide in advance if possible.
Try to get a table in a quiet, less busy part of the restaurant. I often get a table away from the hub-bub and I sit facing the wall so I don’t have to see the movement in the restaurant. I sometimes asked the waiter to turn down the music.

The idea is to save brain energy so you can have a good time. Enjoy!

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The Paradox of Adaptation: Navigating a New Normal After Brain Injury Recovery

by Linda W. Arms, Nov. 14, 2023

I’m sure all of you have done a lot of thinking about how your brain injury has affected your life. For some of us, the impact has been a devastating change to who we are. While others have experienced smaller changes, especially after many years of recovery. We start living a new normal but what is that really? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

It’s all a very peculiar thing, this journey of recovery after a brain injury. At first, every small victory feels like a monumental triumph, a step closer to reclaiming the life you once knew. Yet, as you gradually approach a semblance of normalcy, a realization dawns upon you – you’ve adapted your life in countless ways to accommodate the ever-present effects of your brain injury.

I’ve reached a point in my recovery where, on the surface, it seems like I’ve reclaimed my old life. I’m content with where I am, relishing the sense of familiarity that comes with routines and a semblance of normalcy. I’m engaging in social activities, hiking, traveling and other things I did before the injury. On the outside, things seem almost unchanged. But beneath the surface lies a subtle yet profound truth – my life has been crafted and adapted to accommodate the lingering impact of my brain injury. For many activities, I spend a lot of time meticulously planning so I will be more successful or more able to enjoy an activity. There are other things I just don’t do anymore.

Gone are the days of effortlessly entertaining a roomful of people or enjoying myself at a live music event. No longer do I find myself navigating bustling, noisy environments with the ease I once did. Activities that were once part of my life, such as skiing or cycling, now feel like distant dreams, shrouded in the worry of potential risks and setbacks. Even the simple act of spending too much time in an overstimulating environment can trigger consequences, leaving me having to work harder to concentrate or process complex information.

It’s a paradox – while I may have regained a sense of normalcy, it’s not the same normalcy I once knew. I’ve had to reshape my life, recalibrate my expectations, and learn to embrace a new set of limitations. But is this adaptation a sign of progress or a subtle acceptance of defeat?

I’ve pondered this question a lot lately, with the conflicting emotions that accompany this newfound understanding. On one hand, adaptation represents resilience when faced with adversity. It’s a reflection of the unwavering spirit that refuses to be defined by limitations, finding solace and contentment in the small victories of everyday life.

Yet, on the other hand, it’s an acknowledgement of the sacrifices made along the way. It’s an acknowledgment that the life I once envisioned is no longer within reach, that certain activities and experiences are forever relegated to only memories. It’s a reminder of the fragility of human experience, the delicate balance between acceptance and the unyielding pursuit of a life that once was.

So, is it good or bad? Perhaps the answer lies in the acceptance that it’s neither. It’s a nuanced, complex interplay of resilience and adaptation, a testament to the extraordinary ability of the human spirit to forge a new path even when the old one seems forever lost. It’s a reminder that in the face of adversity, the victories often lie in the ability to redefine our understanding of normalcy, finding solace in the beauty of a life that has been molded and shaped by the trials we’ve endured.

It’s okay that things aren’t the same as they used to be. I’ve learned to find joy in the small things, and in the activities of my life that go well. I greatly appreciate the progress I’ve made and my ability to do things I thought I could never do again. I am grateful for this. Yes, I acknowledge my life does not include some things I used to do and that’s OK. I have more time to devote to things I can do and have found some new interests as well.

So, if you’re going through something similar, just know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to adapt and plan. It’s okay to take things slowly. What matters most is finding happiness in the little victories and in the journey of making the best of what life throws at us.